Wednesday, August 28, 2013

My Personal Dream



 
Today is the fiftieth anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King’s I Have A Dream speech. Unfortunately the spirit of the speech has been usurped. His driving words

When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty we are free at last!

have been usurped by the single-minded manipulators of all stripes. The core of Dr. Kings message was that when a single person is deprived of liberty we all are deprived of liberty.  If I can quote from The Declaration of Independence

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness

          
Unfortunately it took thousands of lives and over one hundred years to grow into these words.

I am of course talking about Race. This is probably the most poorly defined and most mis-understood word in our spoken language.

Courtesy of President Lyndon Johnson I had the opportunity to spend a year in Biloxi Mississippi.  While stationed there I found out that, as a Jew, I was not “quite” white. My racial characteristics were that I was good with money and smarter than most. Oh yes – I do have a small nose for a Jew. After this education in stupidity I delved into the definition of the word Race. When literature delves into the definition and history of the word, there is no clear standard. All I could find out was that race is a subdivision of Homo Sapiens Sapiens, which is in fact a subdivision of Homo Sapiens[1]

Not to be dismayed I dug deeper and came upon our old friend – The Horse. A Horse is a member of the family Equus, as are donkeys and zebras. So if we draw a poorly defined parallel, we have three races of Equus, horses, donkeys and zebras. Now we run into a problem – horses and donkeys do not breed true. The offspring of a horse and donkey is a mule. Mules are almost always infertile.

Now lets talk about us Homo Sapiens Sapiens. Assuming the worst possible, that white people and black people are in reality separate races, or in this example, species. The offspring of a white person and a black person is almost always fertile. Our President is a valid example of that.

Again – in my humble opinion, there is only one race of humans – and that is humans. My dream is to live to see that finally accepted as true. Racial identity is harmful to all. We are all people!






[1] Really

Monday, August 26, 2013

thirty annoying phrases - stolen from facebook


  1. Going forward
  2. Drill-down
  3. End of play
  4. Touch base
  5. It's on my radar
  6. No brainer
  7. Best of breed
  8. Low hanging fruit
  9. Reach out
  10. Dive deeper
  11. Think outside the box
  12. Positive momentum
  13. On my plate
  14. At the end of the day
  15. Run the numbers
  16. Touch points
  17. Keep your eye on the ball
  18. Back to the drawing board
  19. Get the ball rolling
  20. Bang for your buck
  21. Close the deal
  22. When the rubber hits the road
  23. Shift paradigm
  24. Move the needle
  25. Game-changing
  26. Move the goal post
  27. Value added
  28. Win-win
  29. Across the piece
  30. All hands on deck

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Win a few, Lose a few


1.     Poker – At most Air Force bases there are three clubs, one for enlisted men, one for non-commissioned officers (sergeants) and one for officers.  Overseas, the clubs tend to be the hangout when off-duty.  On paydays a unique sporting activity takes place: Payday Stakes Poker. After all of their obligations are taken care of, the gamblers will sit down with whatever money they have left for a game of wild and wooly poker.  My favorite game was seven-card stud poker. For the non-gamblers amongst us: two cards dealt face down, four cards dealt face up with the seventh card face down. One hand that I will never forget started with me getting three hearts. During the remaining face up cards I got another heart and was looking at a heart flush or an outside straight. I was betting heavily. One person who was keeping up with me seemed to have a similar hand, only in diamonds. At the last card – lo and behold I had a straight flush to the ten. This is a once in a lifetime hand. In no time flat I had every cent I had every cent I had or could borrow in the pot. My opponent still stayed with me. A crowd had gathered around us and one could hear a pin drop. When we were both called I showed my straight flush to the ten – gasps. Then my opponent opened his hole card. He had a straight flush to the queen. I lost to a higher straight flush.

2.     Roulette – The roulette wheel has the numbers one to thirty-six alternating red and black. In a European wheel there is a green zero. In an American wheel there is a green zero and double zero. There are many bets and combinations of bets possible. The green zero(es) give the house it’s edge. My favorite bet is “dozens.” There are six possible “dozens” bets. They pay 2-1. A green looses. If green does not fall I will break even in the long run with a good possibility of a winning streak. I figured this strategy out when Judy and I were on our honeymoon in Puerto Rico. I did pull ahead enough to finance our gambling for the remainder of the trip. A few years ago Judy and I took a short trip to Las Vegas. On the plane I reviewed the strategy with Judy. The odds of a green falling on an American table are long. I’ll take those odds any day of the week. We checked into our room, unpacked and we hit the tables. I walked over to the first roulette wheel I saw. I placed my bet on dozens. The wheel was spun and – Green. Ok that’s out of the way. Green again. I collected what was left of my money and had rotten luck for the rest of the trip.

3.     Slots – When we moved back to Denver after three years in L.A. we were commuting from Orange County by way of John Wayne Airport. That trip mandated changing planes in Vegas. One trip I had about a twenty-minute layover in Vegas. I pulled a quarter out of my pocket. I dropped it into a slot machine. I pulled the handle. The machine gave me fifty cents back, twenty-five cents more than I put in. I hurried onto to my next flight. The moral of the story is that it is possible to leave Vegas winning. 

Friday, August 16, 2013

Stolen from Lavidalarson - but fun


One of those Lists........

***********FOODOLOGY***************

1. What is your salad dressing of choice? Blue Cheese

2. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? many

3. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Pasta
4. What are your pizza toppings of choice? pepperoni

5. What do you like to put on your toast? Butter and Jam
***********TECHNOLOGY***************

1. How many televisions are in your house? 2

2. What is the color of your cell phone? red

3. Have any idea how many Megahertz your computer has? not at the moment but I could look it up.

***************BIOLOGY******************

1. Are you right-handed or left-handed? right

2. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? bahahaha.....do I have anything left?
.
3. What is the last heavy item you lifted? me?

4. Have you ever been knocked unconscious? yup

************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************

1. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? nope

2. If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Studly
3. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? uh yup!!
************DUMBOLOGY******************

1. How many pairs of flip flops do you own? 0

2. Last time you had a run-in with the cops? Hmmmm.never

3. Last person you talked to? wife
4. Last person you hugged? wife

**************FAVORITOLOGY****************

1. Season? Spring....

2. Holiday?Passover

3. Day of the week?Ant day that ends in a "Y"

4. Month?true

***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************

1. Missing someone? Nope

2. Mood? happy
3. What are you listening to? TV noise
4. Watching? this

***************RANDOMOLOGY****************

1. First place you went this morning?walk with wife and dog
2. What's the last movie you saw? In the movie theatre... I don't remember
At home ... same

3. Do you smile often? From what I am told.

4. Sleeping Alone Tonight? Not unless something drastic happens.

***************OTHER-OLOGY*****************

1. Do you always answer your phone? yes

2. Its four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it? my kids

3. If you could change your eye color what would it be? blue
4. Do you own a digital camera? yes

5. Have you ever had a pet fish? is lox a fish?

6. Favorite Christmas song(s):n/a
7. What's on your wish list for your birthday? coffeemaker

8. Can you do push ups? I used to
9. Can you do a chin up? no way!!!

10. Does the future make you more nervous or excited? don't worry about it.

11. Do you have any saved texts? nope.

12. Ever been in a car wreck? unfortunately..

13. Do you have an accent? Brooklyn
14. What is the last song to make you cry? Brad Paisley : "That's When You Find Yourself"

15. Plans tonight? Hopefully dinner and sleeping.

16. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? well ya.

17. Name 3 things you bought yesterday. nada

18. Have you ever been given roses? nope
19. Current worry?I try not to worry
20. Current hate right now?IRS

21. Met someone who changed your life? yes

22. How will you bring in the New Year? asleep.

23. What song represents you? All you need is Lust.

24. Name three people who might complete this? I have no idea

25. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Totally :)

27. Do you have any tattoos/piercings? no

28. Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now? Yes

29. Does anyone love you? Yes

30. Ever had someone sing to you? no

31. When did you last cry?I cant remember

32. Do you like to cuddle? yes -of course

33. Have you held hands with anyone today?yes, while cuddling

34. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school? 60's rock

35. Are most of the friends in your life new or old? old

36. Do you like pulpy orange juice? The only kind!!!!

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Collecting People, Rules for Reformed Introverts


  
F
irst of all I am a reformed introvert. I wasted my youth being shy. Now that I am past the age of consent, I believe that age is 55, I have learned that saying hello to people I do not know is almost never dangerous.  As a young man I would smile self-consciously at people I meet, hoping futilely that they would start a conversation.  Now I’m not just specifically talking about meeting women, I’m talking about meeting people in general.

In Windsor Gardens there is a trail that runs parallel to Clinton, from Alton Way to Centerpoint. This trail and other trails like this are ideal for collecting people. You potentially have an immediate camaraderie with anyone you meet. The odds are that you are both residents of this wonderful community.

There are certain indications that the person is open to amiable conversation.  The most prominent indication is the presence of a dog. The second most prominent indication is when they are sitting down and have a dog.  The easiest opening line is always, “May I pet him (or her, take a guess)”.  The inevitable response is “sure”. Show your knowledge by letting the dog sniff the back of your hand, and then gently pet him. Viola, you now can talk to the dog’s human.  The next line should be “He (or she) is gorgeous”.  The conversation is open.

One of my favorite ways to continue the conversation is obviously the weather. “Isn’t is lovely today?” Living in Denver there is always “This is unusual weather, isn’t it”? You are safe to use this starter because the weather in Denver is almost always unusual.  “No matter how nasty the weather gets in Denver, wait a little while and it’ll be gorgeous.” “At it’s worst the weather is still nicer than back east.”  If the object of your conversation does not have a dog, then go straight to the weather. Another continuation-topic is always “How long have you lived in Windsor Gardens”?

There are some topics that must be avoided. Never discuss politics. “The Mayor (Governor or President) is a dope”.  Stay away from religion.  “What are you doing for Easter (Yom Kippur)?”  Another conversation killer is feeble attempts at humor. “Are you going to the human sacrifice later?” Nothing will kill a conversation quicker than these three: politics, religion or poor jokes.

You are now sitting with him/her and he/she asks you: “Aren’t you an Episcopalian Democrat?” Quickly look at your watch and exclaim – “Excuse me, I really have to run”. Another great dodge is to say“excuse me, I have to answer this”. Pick up your phone and have a brief conversation followed by “Be right there, – I have to run”.

The glory of meeting people on the trails here is when you run into them at a function, group or club. You have an instant conversation starter now.

Have fun.

Howie


Monday, August 12, 2013

Flomberg Presents
  
How's This for my Logo?

Time and Relativity, Relatively Speaking



     Usually I let my subconscious mind just ruminate on the topic and then when I sit down at the keyboard, the words come out. Perhaps my accidently missing a week threw a proverbial monkey wrench into the process. But I am somewhat forcing the words out.  I have a background in the sciences. Although I am retired I still read science stuff a lot. As I understand it, we live in four dimensions; the fourth of which is time. As you accelerate through the first three, you change the flow of the fourth. So, theoretically, the more I walk the longer my life will be, as long as I walk in one direction, really fast? Perhaps my life might be extended as long as a couple of micro-milliseconds?  A micro-millisecond is a decimal point followed by lots of zeroes and a 1. It takes a few gazillion of these to time the striking of a match to light the candles on my birthday cake.

     It takes 1.28 seconds for a signal to go from the Earth to the moon. The moonlight that we enjoy most nights is 1.28 seconds old.  Sunlight has been traveling 93 million miles.  If the sun were to snuff out, we wouldn’t know if for about 8 minutes. Light travels at 186,000 miles per second. So you do not see me as I am but as I was a brief instant ago. Why am I babbling on about this? This is all part of Einstein’s theory of Relativity.  (There, I got to my point!) Einstein. Einstein defined relatively thusly: “When you are courting a pretty girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.”  It’s relatively simple. Time contracts when you’re holding the hand of a pretty girl. As unbelievably brilliant as Einstein was, he had a knack for making things seem obvious. Relativity strikes us all. As I age, time seems to go faster. On my mothers side of the family I am the only child of the youngest of my mother’s immediate family. I am now the eldest surviving member of the family

     On my father’s side of the family, again I am the only child of the youngest of my fathers’ immediate family. I just lost a cousin yesterday; I do have two older cousins.  But the years are creeping up.  I jokingly tell people that I am at the in-between years. I am too old to be middle aged but I am too young to be called elderly. But am I?  Mirriam-Webster defines elderly as  being rather old; especially: being past middle age.n  I guess as I look around the room we are all elderly?  However as I am a grandchild of immigrants and concentration camp survivors we are all quite youthful. There I go again using an adjective to modify age. We all benefit from living in better times that did the generation or two before us.

       There’s a great Yiddish expression that summarizes this rambling discussion. We are all “Alter Kocher’s.” 


I do not think that the phrase needs translation?




Thursday, August 8, 2013

Yellow Sticky Management System (YSMS)





First of all I need to define the term Yellow Stickies (YSs). We all have a pad of them on our desks. YSs are small pieces of paper with adhesive on one edge of the back. The beauty of the system is that the adhesive is not very good. YSs come in various colors and sizes. I must admit that I have a YS on my back – I’m addicted to them. I use them in every form and type. No they are not all yellow. On my desk right now I have a pad of yellow YSs, a pad of royal blue YSs and a pad of light blue lined YSs. 

Why do YSs excite me so much? To begin with, I define unorganized. As I get older my memory is more fleeting. I have great ideas, but fifteen minutes later I have no idea what the idea was. No, that is not correct, I’ve always been this way, not just as I get older. The solution to this memory problem is using YSs. On the ledge of the shelf above my desk are a row of YSs. Some of them have been up there so long that I have no idea what the cryptic notation means, some day I’ll take those old ones down, but not today, they might prove to be important. 

How do I use YSs? How does the YSMS work? Integral to it for me are a second monitor and a Mac app appropriately called Stickies.app There’s also an app called Quick note.app.  Both of those present a small yellow notepad that you can move to an unused portion of your screen. I have two monitors. I use the one on the right for reference and I write on the one on the left. For an example: I had an idea for an article about folk remedies that we use. When I had the idea I thought of about five or six remedies. When I started to block the article out my mind went blank. I could only thing of a couple of them. I put a cyber-sticky on the reference monitor and started listing them. I have recovered one idea. I will think of the missing two and write the article.
The key to YSMS is write things down. A physical notepad is not needed, an iPhone is a wonderful substitute. I keep my iPad next to my bed. When I have a thought I open an eMail and sent the thought to myself. When I sit down at the Mac the next day I review them and either take action or add them to an open sticky on my reference monitor.  Once upon a time I had a supervisor who took YSMS to the extreme. His monitor was so covered with YSs that he had to move them around to see his monitor.

It’s amazing how many bad habits substituting good habits can solve. Try my YSMS, you might be surprised by how well it works.